I cannot say I’ve been great all my life. In my heart I know every mistake is something to learn from, every sin is to rebel and toughen. Thank you my Lord that You make me see and acknowledge my wrong doing. I pray that God gives me power to understand better and finally have enough trust in Him to say: “No to anything that goes against my Lord’s word”. Today I see better, thanks to all those who prayed for me, thanks to God Himself that showed me a light inside of me that I thought it died. I will only say; I am a lost sheep and God left all others to look for me. How special is that? What a lesson to toughen up, and learn how important I am to my Lord. My God Jesus, and behind The Cross I am protected!

The weather is one of a kind. Ok, so I live in Portland Texas, so we don’t exactly get the whole snow ordeal. However, winter still means mittens and scarves for alot of people which is funny. Shorts and flip flops get old (though there are those who still stick to them when it’s cold) (Bryan, n grandma). The movies crack me up. “Jingle All the Way” is one of those movies the whole family can watch without getting mad. Otherwise, we all enjoy those holiday films and episodes… old school “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” Garfield and Charlie Brown Christmas specials, and, of course, my kids don’t get the same excitement. Things smell so good. Christmas trees, cinnamon and spices, cold ground after rain, and baking hams… yeah… The food is awesome and so special. Besides fruitcakes, there are dozens of holiday treats that make my mouth water. Egg nog and Christmas cookies included. Okay well all Holiday foods. The decorations are amazing. Face it. Nothing can beat the loaded window displays, the ribbons and garlands around every lamp post, the glittering lights of various colors and doilies and nativity scenes and the trees and everything! Presents. Need I say more? Personally I’m a big fan of wrapping presents as well. It’s not necessarily JUST for Christians and Catholics. To me, the wonder and glory of Christmas is just something I want to share with everyone. Spending all my time at church and volenteering is great; I look forward to it all year. It’s celebrated all over the world. While there are world issues that separate nations and peoples, Christmas is something that everyone on Earth can share. Family comes together. Christmas is about the only time of year I see people outside my immediate family. They come to the house and we get to regroup for the first time in 364 days. But in my family it’s hard getting them together not like when I was a kid. I wish I could show my kids a Christmas with all 62 members of the family having a great time cooking, playing games, just getting to know everyone. I guess I can pray for a Family Christmas reunion. Everything is so happy. In spite of mad shoppers and grumpy retail workers, I revel in the air of Christmas. Ok, cliche as it sounds, it really is magical to me.

Okay so I have what I want for Christmas don’t laugh. A KITCHEN with alot of opened shelves for all my canning stuff I make. And tons of room to Move around and make different thing at once. Tomorrow I have a long busy day. Get up make breakfast for my family, drop the kids off at school, and then P90X ( I started it again and yeah at a great time). After my workout start laundry, aaaand wait for it:…….. the taking begins. Tomorrow I’ll be making: Pumpkin butter, Apple butter, and whiskey carmels can you say yummy. Crazy and I’m working out and around all this yumminess. It shall be fun músic, cooking, in my little kitchen. If you wanna Skype let me know if you want to come over and be a taster let me know. Good Night till tomorrow Much love:…… Bren

Sometimes it’s gets really hard trying to keep a smile on my face and act like there’s nothing wrong. But what do you do when the feeling is so over powering you can’t breathe, think, or act. When you feel all your walls are falling in on you and you just can’t get out.

I’ve learned that I’m a (people pleaser) I give in to other people because I just can’t stand the thought of upsetting them? I put my needs to one side because I get a buzz from someone else’s happiness, only to find that he or she is not a bit grateful? But  “I like to help people and I like making a difference in somebody’s day.

I can never say no to family who have problems or need something. Just one phone call and I drop everything which I’ve learned that it’s starting to affect my household. To me it’s give and you shall recieve….. But I don’t always get a thank you.

I have no problem giving. I’ve helped people move that I’ve just met, because it’s the right thing to do and because it’s part of who I am. I was raised that way to give back but I assume whether it’s a phone call in the middle of the night due to troubling times to or an evening of heavy moving…well, I’m hesitant and don’t want to be a bother. I’ve also noticed there are certain people I’m close to that I am able to ask for help with ease. I think it’s because we have a strong, foundational relationship. It’s established that we will help each other, for life.

Now what do I do when I need help. When I have to much pride to ask. Life is crazy sometimes you want to make people happy sometimes but where is my happiness. Maybe I should start now and stop letting people take advantage of cause I have my own family thats need me and I shouldn’t make them share me with other that don’t appreciate what we do for them. I just don’t know how much someone can take till they break.

GOD PLEASE GIVE ME THE STRENGTH I NEED TO BE STRONG AND SHOW MY KIDS I’M WONDER WOMEN.

I have a dad and a step dad, but I guess in a sense they’re both my dad, which is sort of awkward, in its way. My step dad came into my life when I was a child, and I was lucky I got a good one. Well he was pretty strick but no matter what I knew he loved me and he would do anything to help me when I was in need of a dad’s help. I guess you can say I have always had resentment towards my step dad cause he would not let see my father. He would say: your dad is just going to hurt you he does nothing for you. And I really never understood why he would not let me figure it out on my own. But if I really think back to my childhood and try to remember how many times I saw my dad or talked to him through the years, and I can’t remember. Through all my hurts and pain and mistakes and the birth of my children my step dad was always there not my father. One of my biggest hurts now is that my step dad is not here anymore and I miss him so much. So after my step dad passed away I thought I could build a relationship with my father and I have to a point but he’s not my dad and I see that now. Because as a parent you will move heaven and earth to protect your child and take all their hurt away and wipe their tears and let them know that everything is going to be okay and the one comment that I think just makes everything better is: your my princess and don’t worry about anything cause I will always be here for you no matter what. Daddy’s girl I don’t think I’ve ever been a Daddy’s girl I was never told I was even though I’m my father’s only daughter.

Now that I really need that help and that talk from a dad to a daughter I don’t have it. How can I tell my father thanks for not being there me when I needed him the most and thanks for never stepping up. I understand he does not know how to act towards me cause all he has is boys but would it hurt him to try to love or be a grandpa towards my kids.

I have a new step dad now and he’s a great Godly man and he’s has done so much for me already. And I thank him for being a great husband to my mom, a great father figure to my sister and I, and a great grandpa to the grandkids.

But I need my Daddy sometimes and it hurts that I open up to my father and let him know my hurts and pains and that I need a little help and I get nothing from him. He thinks a one day visit is all it takes to make everything better. Thanks

But I really miss my step dad I so wish he was here cause I need a big hug from him and to cry on his shoulder. Why did you have to leave us so early dad, but I know your looking down on us just keep us safe.

“D-D-D DEFENSE!” You can find me in the Booster Club wagon cheering for my step-son Tyler whos plays football on any given Thursday from August to early December. I also spend alot of time at the GP High-school on Mondays and Fridays for Volleyball. The other part of the year (January-August), simply follow the sunflower seed trail and you’ll find me at the baseball, and softball field. Having three sons, two daughters playing travel football, baseball, softball, track,and soccer all on different teams plus coaching my own baseball team keeps my life more than interesting. You can also find me at Bay Area Fellowship on Sundays. It’s definitely a challenge to work full time, run my household, spend quality time with my spouse, and have a social life of my own. Somehow through the grace of God I manage it all…

What would you do for a family member? Would you turn your back on them? Would it matter if they are close or distant? What if you were the only ones they had to look up to?

Well I come from a big family and when I say big I mean 62 of us. No, my family wasn’t that big when I was small but I remember hanging out with my cousins I can’t really say I remember spending holidays with them but throughout the year we’d see each other. To me time with my cousins in the Valley was the best.

I had a pretty rough up bringing. It’s funny I can’t really recall alot of being a kid but I did see some pretty messed up things that kids shouldn’t see or be apart of. My step-dad was strick there was alot of things I could never do and I was always in trouble. So when my uncle and cousin came to live with us I was happy because there was someone else to take my place in the trouble department. I know thats mean but it was how I felt. I do remember my parents always helping family members and friends so I think that is where I get (me always wanting to help everyone) even when I can’t afford it.

I was in my early 20’s living in Chicago Ill. when I met my great aunt (my grandma’s sister) in the hospital on her death bed, come to find out she had 3 little ones at home waiting for her. Keep in mind I had never met any of them before. I stayed with my aunt day and night (she was in a coma) and I was the one who saw her take her last breathe. For never meeting my second cousins I promised to take care of them. The most difficult thing in the world to do is having to tell 3 small children that their mom has passed away. How do you protect them after that, after their world has been turned upside down.

It’s been, what 11 or 12 years now that I’ve watched them grow.  Yes, they have made mistakes and what not but is that a reason for my immediate family to turn their backs on them, to treat them like they don’t mean anything. That goes against everything I was taught about helping family. So are they different because they are distant cousins. I’m having a hard time trying to figure this out because they are my blood and I love them with all my heart and they didn’t ask for any of this they just needed someone to love them and show them that they are great no matter what. It’s hard not having someone to stand up for you. I can’t begin to imagine what it feels like growing up without a mother or a father.

I can tell you this, my three cousins are amazing no matter what and God has a plan for them.  Everything that they have been through and are going through is to make them stronger and  is getting them ready for what God has planned for them.  I believe it’s going to be really grea!. To my three cousins I love you very much and when you feel like everyone else has turned their back on you I’m here for you with open arms. Thats how I was raised thats what God has given me. I thank them cause thet have shown me to be a better mother to my own kids. So what it all comes down to is how do you turn your back on family when you are all they have?

Let the world always remember,
That fateful day in September,
And the ones who answered duties call,
Should be remembered by us all.

Who left the comfort of their home,
To face perils as yet unknown,
An embodiment of goodness on a day,
When men’s hearts had gone astray.

Sons and daughters like me and you,
Who never questioned what they had to do,
Who by example, were a source of hope,
And strength to others who could not cope.

Heroes that would not turn their back,
With determination that would not crack,
Who bound together in their ranks,
And asking not a word of thanks.

Men who bravely gave their lives,
Whose orphaned kids and widowed wives,
Can proudly look back on their dad,
Who gave this country all they had.

Actions taken without regret,
Heroisms we shall never forget,
The ones who paid the ultimate price,
Let’s never forget their sacrifice.

And never forget the ones no longer here,
Who fought for the freedoms we all hold dear,
And may their memory never wane,
Lest their sacrifices be in vain.

                         Where were you on 911, What do you remember!

                             Hope everyone has a Blessed day today!

Just when things couldn’t possibly get worse, they do. Just when we set our expectations in life, the unexpected happens. Whether storms in life come out of nowhere, or we saw them coming all along, we struggle to hold on to our faith. When we have no strength to carry on, when disappointment and discouragement take hold of us, we find that our only way through it all depends upon our faith. We find our faith being tested as we endure suffering that may be physical, mental, social, financial, or all of them combined. “If we cannot believe God when circumstances seem to be against us, we do not believe Him at all.”  So what are we to do when our faith is tested? Will your faith pass the test? The testing of your faith is an opportunity, not an obstacle. God’s purpose for allowing the trials in your life is to strengthen you, not destroy you. He has promised that His plans for you are for good; He has promised to complete the work He has begun in you; He has promised to never leave you nor forsake you; He has promised to be a ready help in times of trouble….believe what He has promised, God is not a liar.

“Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience.” James 1:3

So, how do we pass the test? How can be we stand strong in our faith when our world is falling out from under us? When there’s nothing we can do, when it all lies in God’s hands, we can remain steadfast in our faith by:

When we become discouraged by the struggles we face, we tend to spiral into despair by focusing upon the past. We walk down memory lane with the enemy and revisit all the times that we have failed in the past or times when we feel God let us down. We find ourselves facing greater distress when we begin doubting that God cares; it seems questionable when we’re in the midst of great suffering. God has given you forgiveness for the past, grace for the present moment, and His Promises for your future. There is no past in your future! But, don’t get overwhelmed by the future either; God has only put this day in front of you. Remain focused on the moment you are in. Live each moment for Him; remain focused upon Him and He’ll give you all the strength and grace you need. If there’s one thing we must grasp about the Word of God, it’s that It is filled with supernatural power. It is a power to do immeasurably more than we can hope for! Ephesians 3:20  Whatever you’re going through in life, God has something to say about it. AND He has made promises to you in order to give you the hope and strength you need to see you through to victory. Along the way, He’s drawing you nearer, He’s increasing your faith, and He’s creating a steadfast spirit within you, so that you will be complete, lacking in nothing! James 1:2-4 Not only is God sovereign, but He is with you at all times. With each step you take, He is there beside you. At times, He’s leading you, at others He’s walking with you, and often He’s carrying you. You must have a confident assurance that God is in control and is overseeing every area of your life. You must trust that if He has allowed a trial in your life, He has found purpose in it and it is for good. Although you might not be able to understand it all, although by your human reasoning you cannot make sense of it, everything looks different from God’s perspective…..trust that He knows what He’s doing. When you don’t know what to do, keep your eyes upon Him; confidently trust Him to take care of you and all that concerns you. Draw your strength from Him and remain in His presence through it all; when you do, you’ll find yourself walking forward in life with a faith that will never fail.

                                             God is Near

                                            Jesus is HERE

                             The SPIRIT will overcome my FEAR!

I’ve loved football since as far back as I can remember; I’ve been glued to the T.V every football season. I remember when I was in Cullen Middle School and my friend Rene and I made a bet on what team was gonna win the Super Bowl. It was January 31, 1988 The Washington Redskins vs Denver Broncos now I’m not a big fan of either team but I was going for the Redskins and I won that bet.  That’s when I knew I was a football freak. Now I know that the Vikings have not won a Super Bowl but they have made it 4 times and were very close in 2010 but they are my team. I think it was the colors when I was small that I liked. So since 1988 I’ve been a Viking fan. Here at my house Football is big from NFL to Collage and even High School since our son plays for Gregory-Portland High School. We go for different teams here; Bryan loves San Fransisco 49ers and Texas A&M, I love the Minnesota Vikings and Texas Longhorns. We do not like the “Cowgirls” oh I mean the Cowboys. So football season is here and even though Blue is my favorite color, right now it’s purple and I have all my purple stuff out and ready for hopefully a great season. Who’s your favorite team and why?

LOTSOFLOVE Brenda